Thursday, February 23, 2012
Show Him the Lovin' in March!
Now that I've officially gotten your attention, we can get down to business! MEN ARE COMPLICATED! Can I get an 'Amen!' Just when I feel like I've finally got a good understanding of how my husband operates I feel like the rules change! It can be very frustrating! Plus, it makes me feel like I don't know him very well, and since we've been married for almost 8 years, and together almost 10, there are certain things I should definitely know! I don't expect to know everything about him, but I never want to think I know enough, or give up trying to figure him out. I hope he feels the same way about me :)
With that being said, March is just around the corner, and I'm so excited for my new challenge! It's really a challenge for myself, but I'm inviting YOU to participate, or just come along for the journey! Let me back up, and explain where my heart has been lately. I'm been reading several new blogs (posted on my sidebar) and books, as well as the current Bible study I'm involved in, and somehow, they all deal with the same subject. Coincidence? I think not. What's the subject, you are probably wondering? Well, lately I've been wondering if I'm doing a good enough job showing my husband that I love him. I'll give you an example; it's embarrassing, but I want to share with you so you see where I'm coming from.
I hate to shave my legs. In the winter time, I can get aways with shaving less frequently. And it is wintertime. And the hair on my legs is blonde. Plus, I have 3 kids..ages 5, 4 and 10 months. I'm busy; I'm tired. Shaving is really low on my list of priorities. But early this winter, my husband made a comment about my hairy legs. I got mad, and being the super mature person I am, made a vow then and there that my legs wouldn't get shaved again until spring. I only caved once when I had to wear a bathing suit at a birthday party. (No sense in scaring people, right?) Of course I felt that I was perfectly justified in this attitude because he called me out on my hairy legs. But was I right? No. It wasn't right for him to make a comment about it, but I was just as wrong for my response, because I'm not responsible for his actions, only my own actions, or reactions. And if I'm being honest, my thought was, "well, if he wants sex badly enough, he'll deal with my hairy legs" thrown in with a little "I'll teach you to criticize me" just for good measure. But God's been whispering to me that this attitude is wrong. So a few days ago, I shaved. I want my husband to know that I love him. I want him to see that his opinions are important to me (not that I will do everything he wants). I want him to see that even though I'm tired and busy, I'm making the effort for him. And in this instance, I was choosing not to make an effort. I want him to see that I choose him over a silly argument about hairy legs.
That was just one example, a silly one at that, but there are lots of things I'm doing, or not doing, that don't reflect the attitude of a loving wife. And God's been convicting me of that lately. I want my husband to know that no one (except God) will cherish him the way I do. And if I cherish him, shouldn't I act like it? My love for him should be selfless -- doing things for him because I love him, or because it's in his best interest, not doing things for me and saying it's because I love him. There are a thousand little ways that I can show my husband how much I admire, love, respect and appreciate him. Yes, I went there...I said the 'R' word. RESPECT! I'm finding that my husband equates respect with love. If he knows I respect him, he knows I love him.
PLEASE DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME, I am not an advocate of the 'Stepford Wife.' My husband is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. I don't wait on him hand and foot, but I do enjoy doing things for him to show that I appreciate what he does during the day. He works incredibly hard to provide for our family so I can stay home with the kids. I want to do more than just cook his meal and wash his clothes to show him I love him. I want to do more than just say the words. And I could definitely be doing a better job in this area.
Keeping that in mind, I am officially declaring March......(drum roll)............. Show Him the Lovin' Month. Before your minds go directly to the gutter, let me explain my concept. And no, it's not ALL about sex. During the month of March I will be posting ideas, or challenges, that you can do to show your husband what he means to you. I'm also going to try to post ideas for things you can do if your spouse happens to be in the military and is deployed, or works out of state, or even travels a lot.
If you've ever seen the movie Fireproof, you know that the main character does what's known as The Love Dare for his wife to try to save their marriage. It was a really broken relationship, yet God was able to restore their love. Some of you may have even bought The Love Dare book and done it for your spouse. I did it a few years ago, and found that it did make a big difference. My idea is similar, in that it dares you to love your husband. This might sound scary to some of you. You might be thinking, "what if he laughs, or acts like it's stupid?" Or, "what if he doesn't even notice?" Well, that's certainly a possibility, especially at first. But if you are truly doing this to show your husband that you love him, that fear shouldn't be a deterrant. God will see your heart, and your motives, and bless you for it. So I dare you....Show Him the Lovin'! Make him realize that you love him more than you did the day you got married! Let him know that HE is the only one for YOU! I think it will make a big difference in our lives, and our marriages.
So stayed tuned in March for some great ideas to Show Your Husband You Love Him! And if you have a great idea, leave a comment! I probably won't post it, just so we don't start things off early, but I will give you credit if I use your idea! So make sure you leave your name!