30 Days of Thankful -- Day 8

Week 2 already!  Are you finding it difficult to take the time to write out your thankfulness list each day?  I’ve tried to sit down in the morning and do it after I take the kids to school…it worked pretty well until the weekend.  On Saturday and Sunday, all bets are off….for everything!  Between church, family visits, cleaning and keeping the kids busy, I usually don’t have a minute to myself until the kids go to bed.  But I have to be flexible because they are only going to be little once.  If I don’t write it out until night, that’s OK.  It doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it at all that day – in fact, I usually know exactly what my 4 answers will be because I’ve been thinking about them all day.

Have a blessed day in Jesus,

~Heather~

1.     Personal

Honestly, I still struggle with this category.  I still feel like people reading this will think I’m bragging.  It’s something I need to work through. 

Today I am thankful that I can read.  You know the bumper stickers, “if you can read this, thank a teacher”?  I think of that, because reading is a precious gift.  I love to read; I always have.  In fact, I can remember my parents getting so mad at dinnertime because they would call and call for me, but I was so engrossed in a book I didn’t hear them.  I’d try to read at the dinner table, which didn’t usually work J  I can finish a 400 page book in 1 day.  I just love to read.  I’m thankful for that ability.

2.     Work/School (wherever you spend the majority of your day)

I’m tempted to say I’m thankful for my warm house again, because it’s so cold here today.  It isn’t that it’s so cold, it’s 26 degrees, but we’ve had such a mild winter this is a rough adjustment!  However, I’ll try to be more creative than that! 

I have a cold, so today I’m thankful that I don’t have to leave my house (except to pick up Evan this afternoon.  That gives me plenty of time to rest and prepare for the bible study I lead Monday evenings.

3.     Church

Today is Monday, the day of the ladies Bible study I’m involved in.  I’m so thankful for the study, as well as the group of women from the church who also attend.  They are awesome ladies!  We laugh and talk, but we also have an earnest desire to see God’s best in our lives.  I love them all!

4.     Family

I am thankful for my sister Kristin.  Kristin teaches Kindergarten, and I’ve never seen a better teacher!  She is truly doing what God called her to do.  She’s married with a little boy, so I know it’s hard for her to go to work each day.  But she’s a great teacher and an especially great Mom.  I’m so blessed to have her as a sister.  She has a great heart!

30 Days of Thankful -- Day 7

The end of our first week!  I’m so excited!  What are some things God is teaching you through this exercise?  I’m learning that it really takes a concentrated effort to be thankful.  It’s so easy to slip back into the old habit of being discouraged when things go wrong.  I think Thursday was finally my breakthrough day.  I was worrying about the outcome of a specific situation, when God brought an old song to my mind.  It was Jehovah Jireh.  I was trying to focus on my blessings when this song came to mind and I was struck that God is MY provider.  These blessings I’m thankful for are God’s way of providing for me.  He has supplied me with everything I have.  Not that I really spent a lot of time analyzing it before, but I guess I always thought of God providing for me in terms of providing family, or shelter or food – necessities.  But God provided my hair, my husband, my church family, my kids – all the things I am thankful for.  It’s certainly eye-opening when you look at it this way. 

I just want to leave you with an encouragement.  When we are open, and really focusing on living as God wants, that includes being thankful in all circumstances, that is when God can really mold and change us.  I pray that you find yourself being changed

In Him,

~Heather~

1.     Personal

I’m thankful I can sing.  I am NOT a singer, I don’t have a good voice.  I am capable of singing.  And I was so thankful for that voice this morning during worship at church.  There are others ways to worship God, but this morning during worship was such a personal time for me to sing the words on the screen directly to my Heavenly Father.

2.     Work/School (wherever you spend the majority of your day)

I am thankful for my stove/oven.  If you know me, I am always complaining about how I need a new one.  I think one of the burners isn’t working right, and it doesn’t match the rest of my appliances.  But really, what would I do without it?  What did people do before stoves?  I would not want to live like that.  Plus, a new stove would probably cost around $800 or so, and I am thankful to not have to spend that kind of money on one right now.  3 little kids are expensive!

3.     Church

I’m thankful for my worship Pastor and his leading by the Holy Spirit.  Worship was amazing today….there is just something about the old hymns and choruses.

4.     Family

I am thankful for my sister Jessica.  See is a wonderful sister and friend.  I can always count on her to tell me the true, in a nice way.  She will do anything for anybody.  She really has a great heart, and really loves God.  She has a weight loss blog called, Pudget: Losing Weight on a Budget. It’s a really great site with amazing low fat recipes and ideas.  She is also married, with 2 girls, and she works full-time.  I’m mostly thankful because she doesn’t get mad when I call her when she’s at work J

30 Days of Thankful -- Day 6

I bet you thought I forgot!  Nope, today has just been crazy!  I haven’t had 2 seconds to sit down and post this.  We have my parents, sisters and their husbands and our nieces and nephew over for dinner to celebrate my Dad’s birthday.  I made 4 homemade Stromboli, veggie pizza, mondoo (Korean egg rolls) and a cream cheese and basil bruscetta.   It was amazing, but man am I tired!

I pray you had a great day in Him

~Heather~

1.     Personal

I’m thankful I have thick hair.  It’s falling out like crazy since Alexa was born.  It’s really been bugging me lately since there is so much in the drain each morning, but I’ve decided to see it 2 ways.

a.     I’m not going to go bald because my hair is so crazy think.

b.     I don’t have to pay to have it thinned at the hair dresser.

2.     Work/School (wherever you spend the majority of your day)

I’m thankful for the ability to have my family over to my house to celebrate birthdays, holidays or just to hang out!  We’ve had to set up a kids table in the living room, and we may get cramped sometimes, but we always have a good time!

3.     Church

I’m thankful for all the kids I teach in Children’s Church.  It’s so amazing to see how much they change and grow each year.  I love them all!

4.     Family

My daughter, Allyson, is my sunshine.  She tends to drive me crazy but you will not find another fun, creative, imaginative little girl anywhere.  For example, today she referred to herself in the 3^rd person all day long.  There are days when she won’t answer me unless I call her princess __________ (insert princess name here.)  She is obsessed with mermaids….today our kitchen floor was the ocean and she had to ‘dive’ into it to find something; thank goodness I’d just mopped the floor!  She also loves fairies, but today her wing was broken so she couldn’t fly.  Her favorite game is ‘Let’s Pretend.”  Never heard of it?  It goes like this:

a.     “Mommy, let’s pretend this is  my make-up.”

b.     “Mommy, let’s pretend you’re the baby and I’m the Mommy.”

c.      “Mommy, let’s pretend that I can drive the car.”

d.     “Mommy, let’s pretend Alexa is my baby.”

You get the picture.  I love this little girl so much.  She keeps me on my toes, that’s for sure!

30 Days of Thankful -- Day 5

Yesterday was such a great day!  Some tense things were happening, but I knew that God was in control, and when I would waiver, or lose sight of that truth, I came back to my thankfulness list.  Sometimes (most times) it takes a conscious decision to be thankful, but I can tell you from experience, it is so worth it.  I am so glad to be on this journey, and I am so glad to have you to share it with.

Have a great day in Him

~Heather~

1.     Personal

I am thankful that God gave me a creative spirit.  I’m not the most creative person in the world, or even my family…my sisters have me beat by a landslide, but I’ve been known to have my fair share of creative ideas.  I enjoy being creative; I enjoy looking at things other people have done and making them my own.  I look at things and picture how they could look.  Seeing things how they COULD look, instead of how they DO look is a wonderful ability.  That’s how we should see others.  I foster that ability whenever I am creative.

2.     Work/School (wherever you spend the majority of your day)

I was thankful for my super warm, comfy bed this morning.  (Even though there were 4 of us crammed into it since my kids come in to snuggle with us in the mornings before we have to get up for school.)  One day soon, that bed is going to seem empty when my kids find themselves too old to snuggle with Mom and Dad.  I’m trying to cherish these moments.

3.     Church

Today I am thankful for the Associate Pastor at our church.  He allows himself to be moved by the Holy Spirit, and follows It’s lead, even when it takes him out of his comfort zone.  Miraculous things happen when we follow the lead of the Holy Spirit.

4.     Family

I am so thankful for my son, Evan, today.  He is hysterical, and I don’t know what I’d do without him.  Yesterday was chapel day at his school, and the speaker was our pastor.  When our pastor came into the room, Evan stood up and yelled, “Hey, that’s Pastor Nathan!  He’s my Pastor!”  Well, that made everyone’s day, especially Pastor Nathan’s.  In fact, when the older kids came into the room, the head of school introduced him as Evan’s pastor.  I love all of my kids, and there is something special about each one of them.  Evan is kind-hearted, sweet, very literal, and smart and is so excited about everything!  He’s very dramatic and I thank God for him every day!

30 Days of Thankful -- Day 4

"Give thanks to the God of gods.  His love endures forever."

Psalm 136:2

So how are you doing being thankful?  This has been a pretty eye opening experience for me so far.  I find that God is reminding me, convicting me, in the areas where I’m not as thankful.  Which leads to my next question.  Are there any categories that are easier, or more difficult, to fill out?  I’ll be honest, I find the first category, Personal, to be the most difficult one to fill out each day.  Don’t get me wrong, I am as selfish as the next person.  I am ashamed to admit it, but most times, my first thought is, “how is this going to affect me?”  But I’m learning that maybe I’m having a hard time, because this is an area in my life where I’m not as thankful.  I tried to make the excuse that I have poor self-esteem.  Then I tried to convince myself that I’m just humble.  But the truth is, I’m just not recognizing the fact that the way God made me (my personality traits and quirks) CAN be a blessing….if I allow it.  God made me just the way He wanted, but most times I find myself complaining because I’m too tall, or too fat, or not smart enough, or not organized, or an introvert.  I think maybe God is trying to make me understand that He created me to glorify Him, so I need to thank Him for giving me qualitites that I can use to glorfiy Him.  Then I need to find away to use these personal qualities to do just that.  

1.     Personal

I have a great sense of humor!  I love to make people laugh.  I’m not afraid to be silly, but I do need to be careful, because I do use humor as a defense mechanism, or to turn the focus of a situation away from myself.  I have also been known to incorporate quite a bit of sarcasm into my humor, which can lead to problems too.  But overall, I am thankful that God has given me the ability to make people laugh.

2.     Work/School (wherever you spend the majority of your day)

I’m thankful for the windows in my house this morning.  We got snow last night, and as I type, I can look out my dining room window and see the snow covering the trees and shrubs.  It’s so beautiful.  In the fall, I can look out another window to see the leaves changing colors in the mountains.  I can watch my kids play in the backyard from my kitchen window.  I can even use one of my windows to see who is at the door without them seeing me.  I’m finding myself a little self-conscious about this answer, but at this moment, it’s the truth.  I’m thankful for the windows that let me see the outside world, but say warm and protected inside my house.

3.     Church

Today I am thankful for my church friends.  You know who you are.  And I cherish each one of you.  I know that you accept me for who I am, quirks and all, and my life would not be the same without you.

4.     Family

I just need to say Happy Birthday to the world’s greatest Dad!  Today is my Dad’s birthday and it’s all about him.  For the second time this week, I’m thankful for my Dad.  Without him, I wouldn’t have been born!  But seriously, he’s a super guy.  He coached my softball team, taught me how to pitch, tried to teach me how to drive (no, I am not going to elaborate.  Lol), walked me down the aisle at my wedding and has always been supportive of my decisions.  And I love the fact that he was the first person to meet my Alexa (the baby) after she was born.  He was already at the hospital for an appointment – what great timing!  I’m planning a special birthday dinner for him on Saturday night.  I hope he likes what I’m planning. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

Have a blessed day in the Lord!

~Heather~

Confessions From a Worrier

I'm laughing as I remember that last night I told my husband that he married a basket case, but the truth is, it's not so funny.  I am a classic worrier -- I try to plan in my head exactly how things are going to happen, what the outcome will be, and then spend the rest of the time worrying about that outcome.  I worry that my son will get bullied in school; I worry that I'm hurting people's feelings; I worry I'm not doing a good enough job at.....everything.  I WORRY.  Does that sound familiar?  I don't want to worry -- it's stressful.  It's tiring.  It's time consuming.  But lately, there are circumstances in my life that are really uncertain and out of my control, and I seem to be incapable of controlling the worrying. 

As Christ followers, we are not to worry.  The Bible tells us not to worry.  Philippians 4:6 says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."  Supplication is a humble prayer, entreaty or petition, so supplication with thanksgiving is a humble prayer with acknowledgement to God for His blessings.  Instead of worrying, we should be on our knees petitioning God to intervene in our situation, and thanking Him for the times He's already worked in our lives.  We also have another example of why we shouldn't worry.  Jesus talks about worry, and commands us to not do so, in Matthew 6:25-34.  Verse 34 reminds to not worry about tomorrow because it will take care of itself.  Jesus is telling us that He's working out the details for tomorrow, so we can just concentrate on today.  The previous verses are a perfect illustration of our lack of faith.  God takes care of the birds, who do nothing to plant or harvest their food, yet God still provides for them.  God created the lilies that grow in the grass and fields and they are beautiful!  Yet grass is something that gets cut and discarded on a regular basis, and still, God chose to decorate, or 'clothe' it with these breathtakingly beautiful flowers!  So if God takes care of the grass and birds, who are incapable of doing anything to increase His kingdom, why do we think He's not taking care of us?  Duh!!  This is the moment where I smack myself in the forehead and say, "I shoulda had a V-8!"  It's so clear.  In light of these verses, I've been feeling convicted because of my worrying tendencies, and I want to change.  I want to trust God!  But it's easy to say "I trust God."  It's a whole other story to live it.

Truth: When we worry, we limit God.  We might as well be saying, "God, I don't believe that you can handle this.  I don't believe you are who you say you are.  I don't believe that you are omniscient -- all powerful.  You must not love me.  And if You can't handle this, then I have to, and not only do I not know what to do, this situation is out of my control.  So now I NEED to worry about it."

That's UGLY, isn't it?  I might as well just end it with a, "thanks for nothing, God."  Not only is in incredibly disrespectful to a God we should be fearful of, it negates what Jesus stood for when He sacrificed Himself on the cross, because that was the MOST AMAZING act of love imaginable.  Yet isn't that what I've been doing almost unceasingly the past 2 weeks?  The truth is, I'm scared.  I can't see an end, or a positive resolution to my situation and that terrifies me, and makes me really, really sad. 

So what are some steps I can take to decrease, and eventually eliminate the worry in my life? 

1. "Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart."  Psalm 37:4.  I listed this verse as the first step, because this is God's promise to you.  For me, at this moment, the desire of my heart is to cease worrying.  If I am truly desiring a change of heart, or to take a step of faith, and stop worrying, I'm going to need some supernatural help from above.  If I delight myself in Him (by following the steps below) then God promises to help me with what my heart desires. 
2. Prayer --  The first verse I used at the beginning (Philippians 4:6) really needs to be memorized.  I think I'm going to print it out and post it in my bathroom and refrigerator and dashboard.  This way, when I pray, I can remind myself of God's commands and his promises.  I need to REMEMBER to pray every time I find myself starting to worry.  It will need to be a new habit. Prayer > Worry
3. Reading the Bible --  By getting into God's word on a daily basis, we can look at scripture specifically related to our problems.  But let's be honest, the Bible can be intimidating as a whole.  Where do I look?  What's a concordance?  How does the verse apply to me if it talks about not worrying about food or clothing, and my worry is something else?  Every word of the Bible is God breathed, or God inspired, and is still just as relatable today as it was when it was written.  Sometimes we just need to pray that God will reveal what He wants us to get out of the scripture.
4. Realize that you are not God.  It's not our job to know what God's going to do or how He's going to work things out.  It is our job to believe He can and is doing it.  And since I can't know, why should I worry about it?  Again, this is a habit you're going to have to get into. You'll need to remind yourself about it time and time again.  Also, if you haven't used the site Bible Gateway, I would highly recommend it. What's great about it is you can type in a topic and it will bring up verses relating to that topic. There are also many different translations of the Bible if you're like me and like to look at the wording in different versions. There are also references, devotionals and reading plans available at Bible Gateway. Check it out if you haven't already.
5. Recognize and Rebuke the devil.  You need to be able to recognize what comes from God and what doesn't.  Being in the Word will help.  When you feel or believe something that contradicts what the Bible says, it's not from God.  You need to be on guard all the time so you don't believe the lies and attacks from satan.  Rebuking the devil is super powerful -- I have personal experience with it that I'd like to share. 

When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I suffered from terrible morning sickness.  I had a 13 month old to take care of, and was really  tired, sick and discouraged.  I remember being in bed one day crying, and I felt like I couldn't deal with it anymore, and I thought to myself, "I just wish I wasn't pregnant anymore."  I was shocked that I could even think something that would bring harm to my child.  And that made mad!  This baby was loved, and wanted, and planned!  So I started praying, and I told God that He was going to have to give me the words because I was so defeated I didn't know what to say.  Immediately I was praying out loud with words that were not my own.  I said, "Satan, if the name of Jesus, I rebuke you and these thoughts.  They are not from God and He doesn't want me to think that way.  So you can just go back to Hell where you belong."  I felt such peace that I hadn't felt in a long time.  5 minutes later, I felt completely fine; I took care of my son, I made dinner; I felt like my normal self.  And I wasn't sick the rest of the pregnancy.  That was a miracle because I had faith that Got was in control and recognized the lies for what they were.  Rebuking satan lets him know you recognize his lies and won't believe them. 

It will take some hard work and reminding yourself of your goal.  But God is faithful to His promises.  He only wants the best for you, and worrying is not the best, and doesn't bring out the best in you.  I pray that God will be real in your life and show you the plans He has for you.  Plans for a future and hope....plans that don't include worrying.  God's got this one, ladies.  He really doesn't need our help...or our worries. 

Please feel free to share your experiences with worry, and how God is working in your life or how He's delivered you from worrying.

<3 Heather <3

The Knot Prayer -- A Lesson Relearned

Wow!  I came across a great prayer today.  It's just what I needed after the especially emotional and challenging week I had last week.  It was such an encouragement after a particular low point.  

Dear God,

Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart, and my life.

Remove the have nots, cannots, and do nots.

Erase the will nots, may nots, might nots that may find a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots, would nots, should nots that obstruct my life..

And most of all, Dear God, I ask that you remove from my mind,

my heart, and my life all of the “am nots” that I have allowed to hold me back.

Especially the thought that I am not good enough.

Amen

- Unknown

I'd like to share with you what I've been re-learning lately.  Many of you may already know this, but I think we all need a reminder every once in awhile.

At this point in my life, my faith is growing, and being stretched each day.  I find myself in the Word much more often, wanting confirmation on a subject, or needing to know what the Bible says about certain issues or types of people.  And because of this, the devil is fighting even harder for me.  He doesn't want me to grow in my faith; and he especially doesn't want me to want to be closer to God.  So he's been whispering these doubts to me.  The words "I'm not good enough" are ones that scream in my head most.  I know I'm not the only one who hears these words. But ladies, we need to recognize those words for what they are -- lies.  Those words are not from God -- they are lies the devil whispers, or sometimes screams, at us.  We can't listen to these lies anymore!  The Bible says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." (John 10:10)  Jesus himself said these words!  And one way the devil destroys is by whispering these lies to us.  And we believe him so easily!  I believe this is why:

I was watching a really sad episode of the tv show Intervention last night.  The woman featured, a wife and mother, went into a downward, drug induced spiral, when her husband admitted he had feelings for another woman.  This woman had judged her self-worth and happiness by her marriage, and when her husband failed her, the devil stepped right in, confirming that she wasn't good enough to even make her husband happy.  She met someone else, someone who was heavily into drugs, and once again put her happiness and self-worth in him.  Now she's addicted to drugs, her marriage is over and the court has taken her kids away.  Is this the kind of life God has for us?  I think not.  Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God has plans for us that include plans for 'welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'  I couldn't even watch the rest of the program, because all I could think about was that she put her happiness and joy in the wrong place..  This is just one example, but there are so many.  But like John 10:10 says, Jesus came so we could have an abundant life in Him!  He doesn't want us to face the challenges this woman is now facing.  But her self-worth plummeted when her husband let her down.  Here's the thing, though: When we put our trust and faith in something other than Jesus, we're going to be let down.  Always.  The gauge of how happy or successful our life is can't be based on someone other than Jesus.  Think of it like a compass.  A compass always points North, so you know which direction to head in.  Jesus should always be our North, not anyone or anything else.  When Jesus is our North, we'll know which direction to take and always find our way.  Jesus will NEVER let us down.  He is truly all we need.  And know this: Jesus' love is unconditional.  He's never going to love you less because of something you've done.  So when the devil starts to whispers those ugly words again, we can be ready with the assurances that God has good things planned for our lives.  And He wouldn't do that if He didn't know we were worthwhile.  We are worth so worthwhile, that "He sent his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16) 

Let's take this idea of value a step further.  Ladies, I want you to know, and believe, right now, that God loves you.  And when Jesus gave His life on the cross, He was doing it for you.  And I highly doubt that God, the creater of the universe, would send His son to die a slow, painful, humilitating death on the cross, for someone who had no value.  Colossians 1:16 says, "For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him."  So we already know that we were created by God.  But have you ever thought about the fact that you were created for Him?  Think about it -- If we were created for God, what is our purpose?

We were created with a specific purpose - to glorify God.  1 Peter 4:11 says, "Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen."  AMEN!  In addition, Colassians 3:17 says, " Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."  God should get the glory for everything we say and do.  People should know that we aren't maneuvering through this life on our own strength!  The glory belongs to the Lord.  (Also check out 1 Corinthians 10:31 for another scripture on this subject.)

You have value in the eyes of God.  He loves you no matter what.  He created you with a purpose, and has equipped you, or will equip you, with the knowledge and talents to do His will.  Keep your life compass on Jesus, and see the amazing things that He will do in your life.  So don't listen to the lies the devil tells you --  he wants to keep you from the full life God has planned for you!

Before I go for the night, I found this chart on Facebook a couple weeks ago.  I thought it was a great reminder about how God views you when your view of yourself isn't as pretty.  I hope they are an encouragement to you!

**All verses taken from the New American Standard Bible.

Confessions: I Am....Glorious???

You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?
These are the lyrics from a song that's been on my heart lately.  It's David Crowder Band's "Everything Glorious."  Go watch the video.  I mean it, go.  Now.

I feel like I have spent my whole life feeling self-conscious or not good enough.  It started in elementary school when I had a lisp and had to go to speech class.  Even to this day, I'm convinced I have a lisp, even though I never seem to hear it when I hear my voice on tape. 

That's who I am;

• I'm the girl with the lisp.
• I'm the girl who was called "Ms. Dull" in 3rd grade because I wasn't part of the popular girls.
• I'm the nerd because I played the trombone in high school.
• I'm the girl who isn't smart because I have trouble with math.
• I'm the girl with the knobby knees who always hated wearing shorts.
• I'm the girl boys didn't want to date.
• I'm the girl who feels like she can't do anything right, yet spends all of her time trying to please other people.
• I'm the girl.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.  I struggle with my self-esteem.  But I had a 'God Moment' tonight.  What's a 'God Moment?'  Well for me, it's when I'm struggling with something and maybe God puts a song in my head or sends a friend my way.  Or I'm praying and I hear that small voice that isn't mine whispering the words I need to hear.  Maybe not the words I want to hear, but the words I NEED to hear.  Tonight was the night when I heard God's gentle whisper.

I'm reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan for my lifegroup.  I was reading the first chapter tonight and was struck by the awesome power of God.  I mean, think about it; God created the Heavens and the Earth.  And he created the stars and the solar system; he created the plants and animals.  God created the oceans and the bugs and the materials we use everyday!  And that same God who created the entire universe loves ME.  He loves me!  In light of everything He is and everything He's done, I am nothing.  But still he loves me.  And if you need further proof of this, God sent his only son, his perfect son, to be mocked, beaten, bruised, crucified for our sins.  That is love.  That is....Unfathomable. Indescribable. Incredible. Unbelievable. Amazing. 

Think about Colossians 1:16.  "For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him."

If I believe that the Bible is 100% true, which I do, (see 2 Timothy 3:16) then that means that everything God created, including me, was made by and for Him.  At first I focused on the part that said 'by him' which brought to mind the song from the beginning of this post -- Everything Glorious.  I'm not glorious by the world's standards.  I'm not beautiful; I'm not famous; I'm not rich.  I'm not perfect.  But God made me just the way I am for a reason, lisp (or no lisp) and all.  And that is beautiful.  So while I might still choose different legs if I had the choice or to have been popular in high school, God doesn't make mistakes and I can take comfort in that.  I may make mistakes all on my own, but that's my own fault.  I can be confident in being a creation of God.

Then I looked at that verse from the perspective of being made 'for him.'  Wow!  I'm doing a lousy job if I was made for him.  Colossians 3:17 says 'And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.'  I can't honestly say that everything I do brings God glory.  I was terribly convicted by the thought that I should love God enough, just for who He is and what He's done, to want to do a better job at living my life in a way that glorifies His name.  So I started to pray.  And I don't know what I expected....a flash of light; a tap on the shoulder from the King of Kings; a heavenly choir, perhaps?  But I prayed and I was bold and told God exactly what I wanted Him to give me.  I said, "God, make me fall in love with you.  Give me a love for you that is unmatched by anything else.  You're going to have to change me to do it."  I love God.  I do.  I just want to love him more.  And that was my prayer.  And I sat there....and nothing happened.  No lightning bolts, no instantaneous change, to supernatural shoulder tap from God...and I started to chuckle a little bit and tell God that I didn't really expect that kind of stuff to happen...and then I heard it. "Are you prepared?"  God was asking me if I was prepared for my prayer to be answered!  Am I prepared to be changed so I can love God more?  Change is always scary.  And I don't like change.  Not one little bit.  But this time, I think it's going to work out just fine.